


Illness

by Giaruu



Category: K-pop, NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Death, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Illnesses, M/M, Right?, You don't hate me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 09:46:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12318534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Giaruu/pseuds/Giaruu
Summary: Sicheng was ill. Very, very ill and was reminded of it every day, every time he looked into the mirror,seeing his tired face,wild eyes and sadness. Every time he started to laugh with his friends, every time he saw Yuta, he was reminded of it.He was also very, very angry at himself for even starting things with Yuta.But he never regretted it.





	Illness

Sicheng was ill. Very, very ill and was reminded of it every day, every time he looked into the mirror, every time he started to laugh with his friends, every time he saw Yuta.

He was very, very angry at himself for even starting things with Yuta.

The illness was unique, uncommon and once he even heard ''You're really lucky to be so special, it's really quite romantic if you think about it'' from a girl classmate. That day he cried all night because he did think about it and he didn't wanted to be so special. Every day he wanted to be just a boy, just Dong Sincheng.  
But they boy everyone knew, the Dong Sicheng was very cold, distinctive and isolated. At first sight. He never sat next to someone in classes, not even with his friends. Once he started laughing he stopped immediately, his unbelievably beautiful, rare smile disappearing as soon as it appeared. Sicheng was quiet, even when talking his voice was shy, unsure. He never talked about himself. 

That's why Yuta wanted to know more about that sad, small boy he saw every day, coming home with head hanging low, his eyes tired, skin pale but oh, looking so soft and delicate and... 

- _Yuta..._

Yuta flinched at the sound of the broken, small voice. He looked at Sicheng with wide eyes, the younger boy moved away so so far Yuta's heart sung deep with pain. Why, why when every time Yuta was getting closer, wanting to touch the black haired boy, why was he scared, pulled back and shrunk himself to be as small as he could?

The Japanese sighed, sad eyes looking over Sicheng.

\- I'm sorry...

Why should he be sorry? It's seemed for him that those words were said more times than words he wanted to hear more.

\- I love you Sicheng...

Oh why, why did this poor boy cried every time Yuta said so?

\- I'm Sorry - Said Sicheng, his voice trembling as he moved even further away. 

Sicheng said those words a lot too, but, never have he said I love you back.

Even so, Yuta knew he did love him. He just didn't know how much.

The older boy made his first move when he noticed the younger one in school library. He was studying hard, with his cute, little nose so deep into the books he didn't notice Yuta who sat on the chair, just before him. Yuta observed the boy, as he was reading his brown, big eyes rolling throught the text fast and without stopping, his tongue once in a while sliding across his, full red lips and Yuta thought how sweet would they taste. If not the bell, the boy would still be immersed in his book and the Japanese could be still absorbing the beauty of the little creature before him.  
But the bell rang. 

Wild, scared eyes looked at him and Yuta thought how much Sicheng look like a deer. 

\- Hello - Said Yuta with wide smile that grow even wider when the Chinese boy blushed deeply, his pale cheeks now red like his plum lips, which were slightly opened from the shock. The older expected Sicheng to run away fast but the boy was still sitting in his place, swallowing loudly. Then, even more unexpected thing happened and Yuta's could feel butterflies inside his stomach, his heart exploding with warmth.

\- Hello - Said Sicheng.

And Yuta knew that day, Sicheng was a very sweet, beautiful boy.

 

They became close, as close as they could be, with the younger sitting across the table, or on the other side of the room. Sometimes he stopped answering Yuta's questions, just staring down at his fingers or floor. But Yuta didn't mind, never asked why the black haired boy was so far away, why he was so distant. And that made Sicheng cry even more.

\- Yuta...

They were like this for long, year, two years later. Always together but Sicheng felt like they were worlds apart. So close yet so far, far away. 

\- Yuta

The older one looked at his boyfriend, smiling softly to him.

\- Yes, love?

Sicheng blushed at the sweet name, smiling delicately yet his eyes stayed sad and dark.

\- I'm ill Yuta

The Japanese's smile fell down, feeling worried and scared he looked at the trembling body before him. He reached for the small, scared thing before him, that was just so close, so so close

\- Don't touch me - Sicheng said, looking down at the ground beneath him.

Yuta swallowed hard, his eyes widening, even more worried but also anger could be seen in his face.

\- Sicheng..

\- I'm ill, so you can't touch me - Sicheng whispered and even when he tried to hide his tears, his voice trembled and cracked. Soon a loud sob could be heard and

Yuta wanted to hug the poor boy so tightly, to hold him close his own heart and never let go. But he couldn't because Sicheng said so.

\- H-how can I stop loving you? - The black haired boy sobbed, Yuta's heart breaking at the scene before him.

\- Why would you want to stop loving me? - Yuta asked but oh so he wished, that this question would never be needed in their life. This cruel, unfair life.

\- Because you're killing me - a small voice said, the words were full of despair, anger, hopelessness and the older felt like falling into a black hole.

Sicheng was ill, very very ill. The illness so very uncommon, unknown for anyone, other than his family. The poor boy, this broken boy could never touch someone who he loved. 

\- I...I had an older brother...- Sicheng said, voice broken down - we were so little but I still could remember. They never let us play together, told us we were ill- he sobbed, wiping his tired, wet face with his too long sleeves.

\- I dearly loved him, even despite the gap between us, he was so sweet to me - The boy continued - He read me books from across the room, he told me stories and helped me when I felt down - Sicheng swallowed the upcoming sob - but still, we could never hug each other, hold hands.  
Yuta was feeling sick, all the words the younger was saying hurt his heart, making his eyes widen in shock. Soon he could feel the wetness on his pale cheeks.

\- B-but one day... H-he told me, he had a girlfriend - Sicheng said, smiling in pain at the memory. - He was so happy, and I was so happy but then... - his small voice trembled again - one day they kissed, o-or touched each other. - The Deer like boy looked at Yuta with hurt and sadness all over his beautiful, pure face. 

\- And then his heart stopped.

Yuta could feel his heart stop too.

Or break in million pieces as he watched the love of his life, the pure, innocent creature crumble before him, weak on his legs as sobs run through his body. 

He couldn't touch him. He couldn't hold him, kiss him and make him feel loved as much as he loved him. 

But Yuta understood and didn't stop loving him, in fact, he loved the poor soul even more.

So they cried together. Next to each other. So close, yet so far away.

 

They lived the next days, months, years. Not even once touching, nor hugging or kissing. It wasn't fine, it wasn't fair but it was enough for them. Or so they thought.

The boys were walking thought the quiet city, the snow falling lazily making everything around white and pure. Pure as Sicheng, the untainted angel, with beautiful face, sweet voice and clean heart with innocents feelings. Because that was love for them, innocent little thing yet so deadly. They both desired and hated it, but never each other.  
The boys were walking thought the quiet city and just for a moment forgot, just for a little while, forgot to be careful. But not with each other. 

One second Yuta was smiling at the beautiful boy before him, next his dark eyes widen is shock and dread. 

One second Sicheng was walking thought the street, next his tired eyes widden as he saw the lights of a car, speeding at him so fast he couldn't think anything other than _Please not like this_.

In those seconds Yuta could only feel, he wasn't even sure what. But he was frighted when he reached for Sicheng hand and pulled him close, so close like never before. He should be happy, filled with warmth as he felt the other body hit him. But he was frightened.

\- Yuta... - His boy sobbed, looking at the older with terror, blood pulsing in his ears, face pale and wet from hot tears running down soft skin. He was ready to explode, ready to fall down the pit of despair and sadness. 

His heart stopped.

 

 

 

And began to beat faster, faster and faster. Stronger, more and more as he realized.

Yuta hold the boy in his arms, close to own heart, the trembling, small body of an ill boy he loved dearly and forever. 

And he was still there, breathing and looking as beautiful as ever. His deer like eyes widen in shock and happiness as they stayed still. Not minding the world, the voices and noises around them. 

\- I love you - The boy said certainty, his voice no longer broken and small. 

 

Sicheng was cured. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Lovely people~! This is my second ff here, but first for NCT Fandom, I really hope you like it and understood the story well, because I tend to write chaotically, and sometimes I confuse others, especially with my endings. I'm sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language so feel free to point any! Also please give feedback, even the smallest comment is loved by me, and I'd love to know if someone liked this story, even just a bit c:


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